EARTH—Noting that the species’ tenure in the leadership role has been marked by an incompetence and shortsightedness that has caused irreparable damage, sources reported Thursday that humans are facing increased calls to give up their position as head of the world’s failing ecosystem.
|Critics of humanity suggest that after hundreds of|
millennia at the helm of the earth’s biosphere,
it was time for the species to resign in favor of
a more qualified life form.
The critics clamoring for Homo sapiens to step down argue that as leader of the earth’s environment they have been responsible for one disaster after another, while over the past several decades the global ecological organization has essentially stopped functioning due to humanity’s gross mismanagement.
“Since taking control of the ecosystem, human beings have misallocated its resources and left many of its operations teetering on the brink of collapse,” said Tracy Eldridge, a spokesperson for organisms demanding a change in leadership, noting that humans have overseen massive cuts in species around the world and that thousands more are expected to be eliminated within the next year alone. “Such wastefulness has threatened the long-term viability of the planet’s habitat, but humans appear unable to formulate an actionable plan to keep it running smoothly.”
Read The Onion story - “Pressure Mounting For Humans To Step Down As Head Of Failing Global Ecosystem.”